Category Archives: The Business

Blogs about me in this business.


Our team turned out to be awesome, even though we had never practiced together and were about to take on the biggest physical challenge of our lives.  We each knew this experience would take teamwork to be successful.  In fact, the event stated with pride the challenge was so great as to require participants to work together.

The two men on our team, Myron and Bruce, were in top shape, ready to run long distances or leap up, catch the narrow edge of an eight foot wall with their fingers and pull themselves over using only upper body strength.  We three women, myself, Monica, and Allison, were willing to belly crawl under twenty yards of criss-crossed barbed wire, jump from fifteen foot high walls into muddy water, and creep through pitch-dark narrow tunnels, but we were woefully unprepared for upper body challenges – and we knew it.  Without a hefty boost we women wouldn’t scale the eight foot wall, never mind the twelve foot ones.

For one series of mud and water filled trenches, we had seen videos of participants propelling up and out with a push of hands against muddy embankment.  My plan was to find mud ledges low enough to crawl out of each one.   Each of us had anticipated this day for months.  Our goal was to make it through the course, trying to overcome as many obstacles as we felt able to try.  For Monica and I, that meant skipping the two electrified obstacles, since the voltage has a nasty way of causing people to pass out face down in the mud.  (Yep, we had seen enough photos to decide against that one.)

Each wanted to test our determination, perseverance, and ability to tackle the twelve mile twenty-two obstacle Tough Mudder course.  The guys were far better able to take on the course without the girls, and since they had prepared better for the challenge, I thought they would go ahead and we would see them when we finished.  After all, we women knew all along what we needed to do to develop upper body strength – we just hadn’t done much about it.  As we walked over to the starting area, I said something to Myron about catching up with him at the end.  He looked at me surprised and said, “We’re sticking together.  We’re a team.”    “You’re going to stay back with us?” I asked, as gratefulness and possibility began to unfold in my mind.  “Yeah, we’re in this together,” he said.  And just like that, I knew we truly were a team.

Myron’s words brought a new excitement into the day.  He and Bruce weren’t concerned with how fast they could make it through the course!  Their goal was to make sure we all made it to the finish, with support and encouragement along the way.  My tempered expectations for the big day were released into full-scale excitement, as a smile spread across my face.  I knew we could clear many more obstacles with the guys determined to stay with the women as a team of five.  It was like I’d been given a second chance to do well and I couldn’t wait to start!

Off we went, finding ourselves required to climb over a five foot wall before we could line up in the starting corral.  Monica, Allison and I were boosted up, while the guys practically jumped over.  The starting announcer intensified our excitement with group shouts and promises, and reminded us it was not a race.  When he stated there had been many sprains and a few broken bones the day before, Monica said twenty percent of those who start do not finish.  “Twenty percent?” I asked, “That’s a lot of people in a race this size.”

“I know,” Monica answered as the countdown began and we turned forward to start.  The first belly crawl under barbed wire went smoothly.  It was a fun and muddy way to jump right into the adventure of it all.  Jogging along in mud and muck we quickly came to the second obstacle, an ice-filled giant tank of water with a wall rising out of it about half way across.  Barbed razor wire curled along the top of the wall and arrows pointed down indicating you must go under water to pass beneath the wall.

I love cold water and sit in cold plunges longer than hot tubs at my favorite spa.  In other events, ice scattered across water actually felt good after building body heat along the course.  This was not like other events.  First of all it was about fifty-two degrees.  Second, we had been running a short time and had not built up internal heat, and third, the water was absolutely crammed full of ice.  I ran into frigid water up to my waist.  I could feel ice cubes rubbing my shins, but kept moving until I reached the wall and ran my hand down it to feel how far under I would have to go.  It was pretty far.  Scary far, and the extreme cold made it hard for me to breathe.  Seriously, I was close to hyperventilating and needed to catch my breath.  Allison had a similar experience and jumped up on the wall, clinging to it in a way she never knew she was able.  The guys had gone first and could see Allison’s head above the wall, just beneath the razor wire.  “Go down!!” they shouted.  “You can do it.  Swim under!”  Monica came up from behind.  “We can’t stay in here y’all.  It’s too cold.  Go under!!”

“I just have to catch my breath,” I said.  “Go ahead,” I told Monica, “I’ll go in just a second.”  Then I joined in trying to convince Allison to drop off the wall.  “Come on Allison – we can do it!” I shouted as she dropped back in the water and we both went underneath swimming as fast as we could to the other side.  Bruce leaned across the steep embankment and put out his hand.  “Watch your feet,” he said, “there are boards to help your footing, but they’re tricky.” I found my footing and he pulled me up and out of the water in a flash.  Myron was pulling Allison out at the same time and then both he and Monica shouted at us to start moving.  “We have to warm up, we can stop in a few minutes.”


I am so glad we had a team.  Right there, at obstacle two, it was clear each of us was looking out for the other and no one would be left behind.  If we needed a shout, a word of encouragement, or even a commonsense reminder of what to do next, our team was ready.  If we needed to be physically pushed, pulled, or untangled, our team would stick it out until we all were ready to move forward.  It felt good to be part of this team.

All five of us slowly and carefully started along the muddy and uneven terrain, waiting for the numbness to leave and our breathing to return to normal.  A few minutes later, a tingling sensation began and warmth returned to our bodies.  “That was a lot worse than I expected,” one of us said, and we all agreed.  I tried not to think about how much worse some of the other obstacles might be.

Soon enough we passed a sign for the two mile point, which was good news.  The running was going well, although footing was tricky, sometimes slippery, always uneven, and often on a slant.  We kept the pace slow and I was happy not to have to work hard to maintain the group pace.  An obstacle resembling giant Lincoln logs came next and we climbed and ducked under and over until clear.  I was the slowest, but it didn’t matter.  The dark tunnel went well too, and those muddy water troughs could have been really tough, but Myron and Bruce made sure we had a hand or a boost out of every trench.

Being on a team was amazingly different from practicing on my own.  We had covered seven obstacles and were having a good time.  “We’re doing it!” I shouted, excited I was able to compete in this challenge after all.  The day before, I had seriously imagined skipping most obstacles and walking much of the constant up and down trail we traversed.  Yet here we were one-third of the way through, and we had made every obstacle and kept up a good running pace .

And then, on a relatively smooth, dry and hard-packed part of the trail, I took a step wrong and heard a pop as I went down.  It must have been my lack of training that felled me, because there was no reason other than “tired feet” to miss my step right there.  The trail was plenty dicey in areas, but not where I went down.  The team came back and rallied around me.  Both guys are EMT’s so they had my shoe and sock off in seconds.  As far as sprains go, this wasn’t bad, but I was not going to be able to finish the course.  I was very disappointed.

Another team called The Bearded Men came upon us and blessed my injury, praying for a speedy and complete recovery.  Shortly after, the pain went completely away and I could stand and walk.  (Thank you Bearded Men.)  We made our way through the next hurdle, a muddy, steeply banked pond about waist deep, with the team staying close enough to me I could hold on for support, then walked to the ninth obstacle where event staff had been notified by passing runners to bring the medic jeep to pick me up.

It was then I knew what my role in the team needed to be.  I wanted to finish the course, even by walking around obstacles, and my ankle wasn’t so swollen I couldn’t put my shoe back on.  Leaving the course in a medic jeep meant I could neither claim the title Tough Mudder nor receive the headband given to finishers, but I worried the team might insist on staying with me if I tried to finish, and how my selfishness might hold all of them back.  I had to let go of what I wanted for myself to allow the team to finish strong.

Once assured by staff the medic jeep was on its way, my team waved to me and started climbing up and over large round hay bales stacked five high.  I watched and cheered them on, then waited for my ride.  Thirty minutes later, my husband, Marc, greeted me in the medic tent, where my ankle had been wrapped and iced, and silver thermal blanket draped around me.

A change to dry clothes and picnic lunch made our waiting time quick and pleasant.  When we spotted our team in the far distance near the next to last obstacle, Marc jogged over to take photos of them coming over a fifteen foot tall quarter pipe.  The greased surface and outwardly curving shape made it impossible to surmount without being pulled up and over by other participants at the top.  My team soon was over and jogging toward the last obstacle where I was waiting to cheer them to the finish.  They looked great – determined, tired, and very glad to see the finish line.

No one really wanted to complete the last obstacle.  You were guaranteed to be zapped by up to 10,000 volts of live electrical current if you ran through it, but Allison took a long hard look and decided she was going to run it.  As the other teammates walked around the obstacle, she geared herself up to dash through the dangling wires.  Myron realized Allison had stopped, and true to the team spirit encompassing us the entire day, he went back to join her. Together they ran over at least a fifty foot expanse of muddy berms while being randomly shocked in the crossing.  Dazed, but still upright, they joined Monica and Bruce to cross the finish line as a team. 

Wistfully, I watched them don orange Tough Mudder headbands, though my smile held pride and satisfaction, too.  Our team had finished well, completing more obstacles than expected and in less time than I estimated we would take – even with extra time out to take care of me.  Although their bodies were cold and sore, I saw in each tired muddy smile how good their achievement felt.  Tough Mudder is over and our team may never form again, but it was a great team and I had a blast being part of it.



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Strong Women

Never doubt what determined women can accomplish,” was the phrase which kept running through my mind last week as I prepared to attend the 3rd annual Financial Women in Texas annual conference.  It was my good fortune to be both a member and general session speaker at this conference and when this thought repeated in my mind, I realized the story of what they accomplished can be an inspiration to us all.

Three years ago, a handful of women refused to let go of the professional bonds and friendships developed and built for decade upon decade when our former international organization dissolved in 2009.  These leaders focused on what is important about us banding together, found  and developed strengths in their team, and took action to rebuild our association.

I have to admit, my first reaction to rebuilding our association was more like a sigh than a cheer of encouragement.  It sounded like an overwhelming and far too daunting task, but this group of women changed my tune

Their determination, strength, and willingness to do the work resulted in so much more than a new association called Financial Women in Texas.  They became a beacon of light showing the way to new possibilities, as milestone after milestone was achieved. 

Countless hours were spent deciding steps to take, the structure to build, and how to overcome the many obstacles in their path.  Their perseverance and energy attracted attention; immediately others stepped in to help, like the Independent Bankers Association of Texas, which gave critical help in our formative phase.   

These leaders kept communicating their results to women across Texas as they persuaded and attracted both former and new members to their cause.  Within a year, members were attending the first conference as a new association. 

At our first conference, I looked around in awe at what they had accomplished.  Although fewer people attended conference the first year, the event was expertly produced.  Suddenly, I realized the task was achievable and from that point forward I resolved to become a more committed member.

By the second annual conference, former members from other states began attending our conference.  This year a few women in neighboring states have joined their nearest local group for monthly meetings as well as the association conference, which gives us hope for growth beyond our borders.

This past weekend at our third annual conference, it is clear we are on our way to becoming strong as an association.  Additional associations are sending representatives to our conference, and our membership continues to grow.  New members are stepping up to leadership roles in the local groups that make up the association, and there are even a couple new faces leading at the association level. 

These strong women who resurrected our organization are very willing to share their strength with more members and have the vision to see how our leadership must be developed to grow our organization.  A new region is in the process of forming a local group and hope is high that yet another will form in a few months.

Thank goodness we had so many women willing to see the possibilities, build on strengths in themselves and partnering organizations, and take action.  They kept us together, created a model for others to follow, and became a symbol of hope and strength to those both within and outside of our association.  They were the inspiration for my presentation last weekend too, as they beautifully illustrated the key components:

      1. Focus on What’s Important
      2. Uncover and Develop Strengths
      3. Take Action

Thank you, ladies.  Because of your focus, determination, and willingness to take action, women in Texas have a unique support system.  Like so many goals, it wasn’t easy.  Fortunately for us, your objective wasn’t ease; instead you strove for something meaningful. 

Strong women created an organization that is rapidly growing strength of its own and supporting many of us along the way.  This group of strong, determined women has truly made a difference.

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.” 

by Margaret Mead  US anthropologist & popularizer of anthropology (1901 – 1978)

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Playing by the Rules

Imagine there is a big truck hurtling towards you only a few seconds away.  It’s coming directly toward you and shows no sign of slowing.  You realize it is only about three seconds away and the driver is staying the course.  What do you do?

You keep driving on your side of the road and assume he will stay on his.  

Rules help each of us go where we want without worrying about someone else going in the complete opposite direction.  So what happens when someone breaks the rules?  Let’s change the scenario a tiny bit:  You are driving along a two-lane highway with narrow shoulders.  A big truck appears in the distance heading toward you.  As it nears, you notice the tires are just over the center line and into your lane.  Now you are only a couple seconds away and his tires are still creeping into your lane.

How do you feel now?  What is going through your head?

I would be worried and planning evasive moves.  I would be evaluating how quickly I could move toward the shoulder without jerking the wheel too suddenly.  I would  be conflicted between driving just over the edge of my lane and wanting to be as far from the other car as possible.  My palms would sweat as my heart beat faster.  Every moment would increase my anxiety.  I would pray he noticed his error in time to correct it before I took evasive action. 

My guess is you would, too.

That’s the problem when someone breaks the rules in what could be a dangerous situation.  We don’t know if the other party will correct himself in time.  We don’t know if they will go farther across that line.  Yet, we also know that it’s possible nothing bad would happen at all. 

When someone breaks the rules we question their understanding and intent.  We wonder if the other person is aware of the danger created.  We also know careless people can be as dangerous as purposeful ones.

A friend of mine is breaking a different set of rules – and the potential consequences could jeopardize many people.  I believe my friend thinks he is helping others, not endangering them.  Then the truck image popped into my head and I realized it doesn’t really matter what I believe.  Intentionally or not, my friend became dangerous when he broke the rules.

When must you play by the rules?



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Bicycle Ride

A few years ago on a very hot, sunny day I was out riding my bicycle in the Texas hill country.  It was a pretty ride and enjoyable for the most part; there were only a few long, slow hills, little traffic and lots of changing landscape to keep it interesting.  I had ridden from town to country, along a creek and beside pastures of hay and wildflowers, and had just rounded a corner marking the half-way point in the ride.  Wide open fields were all that lay in front of me as I pushed up a slight incline. 

Then I remembered what was coming up:  a long fast drop to a low water crossing with an equally steep ascent back out.  Mentally I sighed and grumbled to myself about how hard it was to push back up from the draw.  I don’t ride fast and couldn’t count on my momentum to bring me very far up from the bottom.  My legs and lungs would do all the work of pulling against gravity – and every time I rode, it was harder than expected.

It felt like this perfect ride was about to be ruined by the work of coming out of that low-water crossing.  Most low-water crossings were not that difficult.  Most were simply a slight change of pace.  This one completely changed the ride.  The pleasure of pedaling would be exchanged for the burn of muscles pushing hard to take me back up to level ground again, my breath would come fast and quick, and sweat would slide into the corners of my eyes. My attitude had moved from contentment to complaint in those few moments since remembering what was ahead.

My angel of understanding must have been riding with me, because out of nowhere a question came to mind:

“How can you become stronger without challenges?” 

Without the burn, sweat, and shortness of breath, my ride wouldn’t challenge me.  It would simply be an easy way to spend some time exercising, and here’s the irony:  I chose riding to become stronger and fit, not to coast through fields of flowers.  Although I like the ease of a long down hill ride with the chance to look around and relax a moment, the ride needs some physical challenge to be satisfying.  Coming up shortly was a piece of variance that would help me build the strength and endurance I needed – and it would take less than a minute to finish.

Suddenly I reversed attitudes once again.  Now I wanted to feel my muscles burn, my breath to come ragged, and sweat to drench me.  I wanted to grow stronger, celebrating in the future as the coming obstacle became easier and easier, reveling as I looked for my next challenge.

I decided to embrace the burn and use it to allow easy stretches of the ride to feel sweeter.  Then the drop appeared and down into it I went as fast as I could, switching to lower gears on the rise and pushing into the pedals steadily until back on level ground, a smile breaking through with my determination to make the most of it.

The ride became a metaphor for life as I realized that to really benefit from the ride we cannot avoid the hard parts, but must ride through those stretches, building strength and pressing forward until we are back on an easier path.  That day, I decided to embrace all of the ride and in doing so embraced more of life along the way.

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Goals are great, but writing down goals and defining what you need to do to reach them isn’t what transforms dreams into reality.  Taking action, making change, and sticking with the new plan is what transforms your life.

In my past life as a financial advisor, there were a few clients that hired me and thought they were done.  It was as though paying someone to develop a plan for them was enough.  It isn’t.  Just like any goal, implementing the steps to create the future you envision is the key.

I’ve found myself falling into the same trap with other goals once in a while.  For instance, I would go to a seminar and learn some really terrific ideas, write down the ones which would make the biggest difference to me, then go back to the office and fall back into my same patterns without integrating the new ideas.  Finally, I learned it takes more than insight and ideas to make change.  Now, I start out the same way, and then make it effective by choosing which idea I’m going to implement and put it on my calendar to tackle.  Some people can quickly implement several new ideas into their routine.  Me, I take one and work on it for a while before trying out the next.  Since life isn’t a race, it doesn’t matter which route you take, only that you take a route heading to your new goal.

Have you ever bought exercise equipment or signed up for a gym membership, then didn’t  exercise?  That’s like writing down a goal without taking steps to reach it.  I know lots of people tout writing down goals as the key to successful change, and I agree that writing them down can impel you to action.  It simply isn’t the most critical part of change.  The only part of reaching a goal that absolutely must happen is action toward that goal.  Usually that means changing how you behave now into a new behavior.

The video Arthur’s Transformation  is a great example of how action caused change.  I’ve watched it nearly a dozen times.  You may have already seen it, and it’s worth seeing again.  The designer of the program he uses states:

 “You get out of it what you put into it!” ~Diamond Dallas Page 

Take a look at the kind of transformation possible, when you do more than define your goal.  If you want to see the program Arthur used, click on DDP Yoga.

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